What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence incidences at their core are about one individual’s desire to have absolute power and control over another person. When a perpetrator begins to feel that power eroding, they will do whatever they can to regain power, including killing the people they seek to control. In the end, the perpetrator ensures that the victim cannot leave and start a new life. Children, other family members, neighbors, co-workers, and innocent bystanders are all put at risk if they are near when the violence erupts. Domestic violence affects every aspect of our community. It is not just a problem for those in a particular economic class, age group, ethnicity, religious group, or of a particular sexual orientation.  (Santa Clara County Domestic Violence Council 2011)

Risk factors:

• Separation or talk of ending the relationship.
• Extreme jealousy and/or possessiveness.
• Controlling behaviors, including social isolation, financial dependency (limiting access to money and information about finances), threats involving taking away children, threats regarding deportation, and extensive monitoring of daily activities.
• Prior reported and unreported acts of domestic violence.
• Stalking behavior.
• Threats of suicide and/or homicide.
• Kidnapping or falsely imprisoning someone.
• The lack of any, or very few, friends outside the relationship.
• Untreated and inadequately treated mental health conditions, including issues stemming from early childhood trauma and depression.
• Previous use of weapons or threat of using weapons.
• Access to firearms- sometimes legally obtained especially once a person has been served a protective order and has not relinquished their firearms.
• Prior strangulation and choking.
• A need to “co-opt” a partner’s friends to monitor a person’s activities.
• Mental health issues. Aging may exasperate mental illnesses making a person more dangerous.
• An over important sense of self and a lack of empathy for anyone else, including children, possibly increasing the risk to family members and friends.

What can be done?

• Listen without judging. Don’t rush into providing solutions.
• Make surethe victim knows she/he is not alone.
• Let the victim know you support and care about her/him and that the violence is not the victim’s fault.
• Tell the victim help is available. It is free and confidential.
• Tell the victim you are worried about her/his safety and the safety of the victim’s children.
• Tell the victim that you are there for her/him and that she/he deserves better than this.
• Call 911.
• Contact a victim advocacy agency and inquire on ways to help a victim.
• Ask victims if they are fearful of the perpetrator and why. Let them know that you are there for them.
• Determine if there are deadly weapons in the home and contact local law enforcement or advocacy agencies about the threat of the use of these weapons.
• Assist victims in calling a domestic violence shelter to create a safety plan, obtain a restraining order, or seek domestic violence counseling. This is especially important if the victim wishes to end the relationship
• Protect children. Do not be afraid to tell victims and perpetrators that domestic violence is harming their children. When necessary, contact the Child Abuse Hotline at the Department of Children and Family Services.
• Take all threats seriously even if the victim says that the perpetrator is just “blowing off steam.”
• Learn about domestic violence and share the information with others.

Statistics:

• 2011: In Santa Clara County, domestic violence accounted for 11 murders and 5 suicides

Resources:

• Batterers Intervention Programs(County of Santa Clara Office of Women’s Policy)

• Domestic Violence Information Resources (County of Santa Clara Office of Women’s Policy)

• Domestic Violence Council(County of Santa Clara Office of Women’s Policy)

• Lawyers in the Library

• Links (County of Santa Clara Office of Women’s Policy)

• Making the Connection: A Community Guide to Domestic Violence Information and Resources(County of Santa Clara Office of Women’s Policy) DVDs

DVDs provide:

DV 101: Safety Planning

Child Custody

Impact of Domestic Violence on Children

Elder Abuse

Housing [English]  [Spanish]  [Vietnamese]

Domestic Violence in LGBTQ Communities

Medical Effects

Restraining Orders   

Batterer Intervention Program

• Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence

• Social Workers in the Library

• Is Someone Hurting You – What To Do If You Decide To Stay or If You Decide To Leave

• Support Groups

Library Materials:

• Family Violence - Fiction
• Family Violence - Juvenile
• Domestic Violence – General

When Rick is sick, his friend Jack comes to visit him and tries to help him in many different ways.  The book shows you how to help a friend when that friend gets sick.  It also shows you how to make a Friendship Award.

Written by author-Illustrator David McPhail.  Ages:  Preschool-K-1st grade

NEED HELP? 

Help is here: Social Workers in the Library

At King Library: Now offered twice a month – every 1^st and 4^th Mondays of the month, 6 – 8 p.m.

March: Monday, 3/5/12 and Monday 3/26/12

Call: (408) 808-2350

Or

At Biblioteca Latinoamericana – offered once a month – every 3^rd Wed. of the month 6 – 8 p.m. (Spanish/English bilingual Social Worker available)

March: Wed., 3/21/12

Call: (408) 294-1237

Is something happening in your life that you have questions about concerning:

• Education
• Emergency Services - food/clothing/housing and crisis support
• Employment
• Family Matters - parenting, childcare, divorce, elder issues and domestic  violence
• Health Improvement - mental, physical and health insurance
• Immigration
• Support Groups - men, women and teens

Make an appointment to get a FREE 20 minute session of information and referral or advice, from a member of the National Association of Social Workers. Everyone at some point in their lives could use the advice of a social worker. Our volunteer social workers are offering it - Free of Charge.

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Is there something happening in your life that is difficult to deal with on your own?

Don't Know Where To Turn? 

Social Workers in the Library Are Here to Serve You!

Get FREE 20 minutes of information/referral or advice from a social worker.

Available at the King Library.

Every 1st and 4th Monday of the month, from 6 to 8 p.m. 

Call 808-2350 to make your appointment now.

Social Workers in the Library, is a partnership of the San José Public Library, San José State University's School of Social Work,  the National Association Of Social Workers - California Chapter, and the SJSU School of Library and Information Services.

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